Question:
can some one grade this before i turn it in? just tell me if its good or not.?
2007-06-22 22:40:15 UTC
“Start with an empty canvas Sketch in broad outline the forms of Men, women, and children.” Meaning there are happy ordinary people. I thought of it as a family enjoying some lemonade in the warm sun. Just for that moment every thing seems perfect. Perfect weather, perfect day, and people with a perfect attitude. “Dip into the unconscious well of your own disowned darkness with a wide brush and Stain the strangers with the sinister hue of the shadow.” It’s the same people but this time they are different they are mean to each other. I thought of it as if maybe they were not sharing the lemonade and yelling and swearing at each other. The brother and sister are fist fighting, the mother and father are arguing loudly. Nothing is perfect any more. Attitudes have changed and so has the weather, in to a dark shade of grey. “Trace onto the face of the enemy the greed, Hatred, carelessness you dare not claim as your own.” The family that I had spoken of before are all turning into something…different, something bad. The family that was once having fun is now trying to hurt each other. The mother that is usually the one that protects the children, is now trying to hurt them. They have no consent for each other. They feel great hatred towards each other, to put it plainly, they don’t care. “Obscure the sweet individuality of each face. Erase all hints of the the kaleidoscope of every finite heart myriad loves, hopes, Fears that play through.” Their faces start to change from a straight face to an evil grin. Their teeth are sharper; the faces of the children swell up and start to expand. All they can say to each other is “I hate you! I hate you!” they stop and walk into individual corners. They all start to jerk around, their horns are growing in. They are large sharp and terrifying. They are now fully fledged demonic beasts. “Twist the smile until it forms the downward arc of cruelty. Strip flesh from bone until only the abstract skeleton of death remains.” Their evil grins quickly turn into frowns. They are now so intimidating, that they would make a full grown man wet him self. Then the fire happened. Uproars of massive fire burst onto the family. But they did not move; not even a little. Eventually their skin was burned off their bodies. They were just bones; walking dead. “Exaggerate each feature until man is Metamorphasized into beast, vermin, insect. Fill in the background with malignant Figures from ancient nightmares –Devils, demons, myrmidons of evil. When your icon of the enemy is complete you will be able to kill without guilt, Slaughter without shame. The thing you destroy will have become merely an enemy of God, an impediment to the sacred dialectic of history.” But the family was not done changing yet. They went back into their corners. They all at the same time crumbled into piles of bone and ash. Then they started to rebuild again, but this time they were something totally different. They had become something so disgusting, so vile, so sinister; the even the devil him self would through back. They had become some sort of beast like cock roach. With and 100 eyes, giant teeth. It has gotten dark fast and the over size cock roaches were hungry. They went to the city, and found some one that they later killed with out caring. Then another, and another, so on and so on. They had bo cares for any thing else but them selves.
Seven answers:
2007-06-24 12:19:27 UTC
Forget about them all, I like it, I really love it, if it was me grading it I would give you 90/100
Y!@n$werer
2007-06-23 05:46:51 UTC
“Start with an empty canvas Sketch in broad outline the forms of Men, women, and children.” Meaning there are happy ordinary people. I thought of it as a family enjoying some lemonade in the warm sun. Just for that moment every thing seems perfect. Perfect weather, perfect day, and people with a perfect attitude. “Dip into the unconscious well of your own disowned darkness with a wide brush and Stain the strangers with the sinister hue of the shadow.” It’s the same people but this time they are different they are mean to each other. I thought of it as if maybe they were not sharing the lemonade and yelling and swearing at each other. The brother and sister are fist fighting, the mother and father are arguing loudly. Nothing is perfect any more. Attitudes have changed and so has the weather, in to a dark shade of grey. “Trace onto the face of the enemy the greed, Hatred, carelessness you dare not claim as your own.” The family that I had spoken of before are all turning into something…different, something bad. The family that was once having fun is now trying to hurt each other. The mother that is usually the one that protects the children, is now trying to hurt them. They have no consent for each other. They feel great hatred towards each other, to put it plainly, they don’t care. “Obscure the sweet individuality of each face. Erase all hints of the the kaleidoscope of every finite heart myriad loves, hopes, Fears that play through.” Their faces start to change from a straight face to an evil grin. Their teeth are sharper; the faces of the children swell up and start to expand. All they can say to each other is “I hate you! I hate you!” they stop and walk into individual corners. They all start to jerk around, their horns are growing in. They are large sharp and terrifying. They are now fully fledged demonic beasts. “Twist the smile until it forms the downward arc of cruelty. Strip flesh from bone until only the abstract skeleton of death remains.” Their evil grins quickly turn into frowns. They are now so intimidating, that they would make a full grown man wet him self. Then the fire happened. Uproars of massive fire burst onto the family. But they did not move; not even a little. Eventually their skin was burned off their bodies. They were just bones; walking dead. “Exaggerate each feature until man is Metamorphasized into beast, vermin, insect. Fill in the background with malignant Figures from ancient nightmares –Devils, demons, myrmidons of evil. When your icon of the enemy is complete you will be able to kill without guilt, Slaughter without shame. The thing you destroy will have become merely an enemy of God, an impediment to the sacred dialectic of history.” But the family was not done changing yet. They went back into their corners. They all at the same time crumbled into piles of bone and ash. Then they started to rebuild again, but this time they were something totally different. They had become something so disgusting, so vile, so sinister; the even the devil him self would through back. They had become some sort of beast like **** roach. With and 100 eyes, giant teeth. It has gotten dark fast and the over size **** roaches were hungry. They went to the city, and found some one that they later killed with out caring. Then another, and another, so on and so on. They had bo cares for any thing else but them selves.





























PATHETIC JUST SOOOOO PATHETIC. THIS WORK ONLY BRINGS STRESS AND DEPRESSION TO THE READER SO OIUT IT WILL U. i GRADE THIS 0.01 out of 100 i.e. 0.01/100
Troy
2007-06-23 08:50:28 UTC
Your good in giving details and emphasis, but refrain from using too much it may confuse the reader, also youve shifted to the first person at some lines. i grade it as



89 out of 100



Not bad, just proofread it.
Jpressure
2007-06-23 06:08:02 UTC
C, maybe try to dig deeper into yourself, your examples are a little bit too superficial and dont fit all too well with the quotes. Not bad bad, but not good.
newmommylinz
2007-06-23 06:26:55 UTC
Sounds like the teacher is a little twisted...good interpretation, though...g/l...very depressing, however.
Donna G
2007-06-23 05:53:22 UTC
Grade: C

Needs lots of editing!
bobby a
2007-06-23 06:10:34 UTC
well, on sum computers, wen u go on word, u go to one of the spell check stuff and gives u ur grade and the percentage


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