Could someone with a kind-heart please proofread my paper?

Question

Please!!! I know it is a lot but I really dont have anybody to proofread my papers and I also know that my english isn't great.

thank you


Apollo was known for many things he was the god of the sun, medicine, poetry and music. From a young age it was clear he was extremely talented a musical protégée .His father Zeus was the King of the Gods, his mother Leto was daughter of Titans Coeus and Phobe. Apollo lived in a small unknown village. His musical talent made him famous throughout the the heavens and the earth. His music was cherished and treasured throughout the heavens. Everyday Apollo would throw concerts for the Gods. He would entertain the Gods both day and night. He would sing melodious songs and play his golden lyre.
One morning during Apollo’s heavenly concerts he heard a low constant murmur that distracted him. Apollo ignored the murmur and continued to serenade the Gods with his singing and playing. As always at the end of his morning concert the Gods showered him with gifts of praise, gold and incense. While Apollo tuned his lyre and warmed up is voice for his dinner performance, he began to hear the that constant murmur that he heard earlier. As the sunset and the stars began take their place one by one in the constellation the murmur began to get louder. By the end of his evening the murmur grew into a full melodic song that distracted Apollo. The melodic song was the voice of a poor street musician who was singing a praizollo (a song of praise to Apollo). He continued to play his golden lyre but stopped singing. The sweet distant song began to distract the Gods from their evening dinner. The melodic voice enchanted the gods and diverted their attention from Apollo. Soon all the gods stopped eating and began dancing gleefully to the amazing voice from the distance. "That voice is so ethereal" said Athena. "My heart melts at the sound of that voice" said Aphrodite’s."That's one talented musician!" exclaimed Zeus.
Upset by the fact that his thunder was being stolen by this unknown singer Apollo puts down the lyre and asks “Who is this ,that dare interrupts my musicale", That harmonious voice is coming from the dark abyss that leads to earth “someone said. With every melodic note Apollo got increasingly angry, his ego bruised from being upstaged. For as long as he could remember he was known as the psalmist of the gods throughout heavens.

Fed up and full of embarrassment Apollo was determined to find out who was enchanting the gods with their singing. Apollo looks down into the abyss and finds that it is the voice of Hummin an old, emaciated, street singer from earth. Humiliated and angry Apollo calls out ."Come out you coward and show your face. You will not sabotage me from afar, be a man and stop hiding your face". From the dismal abyss crawled an old wrinkled, emaciated vagabond. The vagabond was a unknown destitute musician that played on the local street on earth. "I called for the singer why are you here" Apollo asked angrily. With his lip barely parting he sang "It is I who you seek, it is I a fellow who is meek" Blown away, amazed and impressed by the voice of the vagrant he grew even more angry. Apollo hated admitting even to himself that the destitute street musician sang better than him. you sings Praisallo from my heart both day and night that I pray would reach the ears of heaven and be pleasing to Apollo.

Hummin attempted to apologize to Apollo. "I did not mean to embarrass you, I am so sorry" said Hummin. Apollo began to argue back and forth with Hummin. "I am the greatest singer and musician in the havens and in the earth" shouted Apollo. "Oh yes your are" graveled Hummin. As Hummin was pleading his case to Apollo. The gods began to chant “Sing Off/ Play Off and we will say who is the best musician and singer in the heavens and on the earth. The gods sent out an announcement throughout the heavens that there would be a battle between the Hummin an unknown street singer from earth and the esteem, renowned, heavenly reverenced Apollo the god of sun, medicine, poetry and music. The duel will take place on Mount Olympus at noon and will be judged by Zeus. When Apollo heard about duel, he knew that he would win for his father and had given him the title of the greatest psalmist and musician in the heavens and the earth.

Full of confidence Apollo began to sing and play his best songs, the ones that were favored most by the gods. When Apollo completed is morning concert the gods all smiled with glee and admiration and the crowd began to clap thunderously. Hummin stepped to the center of the arena and began to sing from the depths of his heart. As he began to sing the arena became deathly silent. The gods were mesmerized and began to dance uncontrollably to the passionate praises that fell from Hummin's lips. Out of the silence shouts of joy erupted from the gods and the crowd. "Hummin" "Hummin" shoute

Answer 1

Apollo was known for many things he was the god of the sun, medicine, poetry and music. From a young age it was clear he was extremely talented a musical protégée. His father Zeus was the King of the gods and his mother Leto was daughter of Titans Coeus and Phobe.



Apollo lived in a small unknown village. His musical talent made him famous throughout the the heavens and the earth. His music was cherished and treasured throughout the heavens. Everyday Apollo would throw concerts for the gods and would entertain them, both day and night. Apollo would sing melodious songs and play his golden lyre.



One morning during Apollo’s heavenly concerts he heard a low constant murmur that distracted him. Apollo ignored the murmur and continued to serenade the gods with his singing and playing. As always, at the end of his morning concert, the Gods showered him with gifts of praise which were gold and incense. While Apollo tuned his lyre and warmed up is voice for his dinner performance, he began to hear again the constant murmur that he heard earlier. As the sunset and the stars began take their place one by one in the constellation the murmur began to get louder. By the end of his evening the murmur grew into a full melodic song that distracted Apollo. The melodic song was the voice of a poor street musician who was singing a praizollo (a song of praise to Apollo). He continued to play his golden lyre but stopped singing. The sweet distant song began to distract the gods from their evening dinner. The melodic voice enchanted the gods and diverted their attention from Apollo. Soon all the gods stopped eating and began dancing gleefully to the amazing voice from the distance. "That voice is so ethereal" said Athena. "My heart melts at the sound of that voice" said Aphrodite’s."That's one talented musician!" exclaimed Zeus.



Upset by the fact that his thunder was being stolen by this unknown singer Apollo puts down the lyre and asks “Who is it that dares to interrupts my musicale?". That harmonious voice is coming from the dark abyss that leads to earth“, someone said. With every melodic note Apollo got increasingly angry and his ego was bruised from being upstaged. For as long as he could remember he was known as the psalmist of the gods throughout heavens.



Fed up and full of embarrassment Apollo was determined to find out who was enchanting the gods with their singing. Apollo looks down into the abyss and discovers that it is the voice of Hummin, an old, emaciated, street singer from earth. Humiliated and angry Apollo calls out ."Come out you coward and show your face!" You will not sabotage me from afar! Be a man and stop hiding your face!".

From the dismal abyss crawled an old, wrinkled, emaciated vagabond. The vagabond was a unknown destitute musician that played on the local street on earth. "I called for the singer why are you here?" Apollo asked angrily. With his lip barely parting he sang "It is I whom you seek, it is I, a fellow who is meek.". Blown away, amazed and impressed by the voice of the vagrant he grew even more angry. Apollo hated admitting even to himself that the destitute street musician sang better than him.



?????you sings Praisallo from my heart both day and night that I pray would reach the ears of heaven and be pleasing to Apollo.?????



Hummin attempted to apologize to Apollo. "I did not mean to embarrass you and I am so sorry.", said Hummin. Apollo began to argue back and forth with Hummin. "I am the greatest singer and musician in the havens and in the earth!", shouted Apollo. "Oh yes your are!", graveled Hummin. As Hummin was pleading his case to Apollo. The gods began to chant, “Sing Off/ Play Off??? and we will say who is the best musician and singer in the heavens and on the earth.



The gods sent out an announcement throughout the heavens that there would be a battle between the Hummin, an unknown street singer from earth and the esteem, renowned, heavenly revered Apollo, the god of sun, medicine, poetry and music. The duel will take place on Mount Olympus at noon and will be judged by Zeus. When Apollo heard about the duel, he knew that he would win for his father who had given him the title of the greatest psalmist and musician in the heavens and the earth.



Full of confidence Apollo began to sing and play his best songs, which were favored most by the gods. When Apollo completed his morning concert, the gods all smiled with admiration and the crowd began to clap thunderously. Hummin stepped to the center of the arena and began to sing from the depths of his heart. As he began to sing, the arena became deathly silent. The gods were mesmerized and began to dance uncontrollably to the passionate praises that fell from Hummin's lips. Out of the silence shouts of joy erupted from the gods and the crowd. "Hummin" "Hummin" shoute (Now, where's the ending? What happened to Hummin? What happened to Apollo?)

Answer 2

In your first sentence: many things. He was

Second sentence: clear that he; talented - a musical

Seventh sentence: Apollo performed concerts

Eighth and ninth sentences: He entertained the other gods day and night by singing melodious songs and playing his golden lyre.



Does that help?

Answer 3

Interesting read, I liked it. Change your tense in a few parts of the paper, and review the rules for where to use commas.



I've highlighted some recommended changes in red. Highlights in blue are areas I didn't understand.



http://blurredvisions.awardspace.com/paper_edit.html



I recommend forgetting about the paper for a day or two and coming back to edit it. Whenever I do that, I always see tons of errors I made, and I usually can think of better ways to phrase different parts of the paper.



If you have an questions feel free to PM me.

Answer 4

It is very nice, but needs an ending!