URGENT! NEED HELP proof read my scholarship essay~~PLEASE HELP ME!?

Question

NEED HELP BAD!!

I am an aviation student and I am trying to write an essay for NetJets Scholarship

I need to write 500 word essay on my Goals and Career Interests in Aviation and A Brief Statement of my Financial Need(s) and Situation

I NEED PEOPLE PROOF READ THIS, PLEASE PLEASE
change all my grammar mistakes or maybe change some of my wording, because I am an international student

Here it is


My name is Chung-Chiang Kao, I am a senior at Ohio State University. I am major in Aviation Management and Operations Management though the Fisher College of Business. And at same time, I am currently taking flight training at Ohio State University Flight School with about 70 hours of total flight time. I have chosen this academic degree to achieve my short-term goal to become an airport manager. At same time I will keep taking flight training and hopefully become a commercial airlines pilot as my ultimate career goal.
First to show that I am passionate about aviation; I am an active member of Alpha Eta Rho (co-ed aviation fraternity), we always seek the opportunity to educate more people about the aviation industry. I took the board member position for the Aviation Spring Conference, trying to attract more people to interest in aviation. I also helped to found the OSU chapter of American Association of Airport Executives. I volunteer to conduct airport tours for younger kids at Ohio State University Airport, hopefully to inspire them to want to learn more about aviation.
Since when I was young, whenever there is an airplane in the sky, I will always look up and wish that I can do it some days. As an immigrant from Taiwan, I did not have any opportunity to learn anything about aviation. Pilot is almost impossible to become because of lack of aviation school and flight school. Until I moved to the United States, I discovered that anything is possible if you pursuit your dream. I am currently living my dream right now from flying airplanes. If my financial allow, I would like to get my instrument rating, CPL and CFI. I have been taking more than 6 classes (20 credit hours) for the past 3 quarters, so I don’t have much time to work. But since I am an extremely hard working student, my GPA for the past 3 quarters is average around 3.5.
My goal is to make the aviation environment better and safer. Aviation is a unique industry; airports and airlines are struggling to make profit or even not lose any money. Also I want to let more people know about how great aviation industry is and draw more people to help to make the industry better. I hope after finishing reading this essay, you’ll have a picture of who I am. Thank you for your time and your consideration.

My father was providing my tuition because my mother doesn’t earn enough money. Due to family problems, my father no long will pay for my tuition. As the result, my mother will need to provide tuition for me and both of my sisters. And I need to start working to pay for my own living cost and flight training. Flight training is extremely expensive for a college student. Also, I have been taking more than 6 classes (20 credit hours) for the past 3 quarters, so I don’t have much time to work. Another reason that I am taking so many classes is because hopefully I can graduate earlier by cramming all the class together. By graduating earlier, I can save some tuition money. It will be extremely helpful if I have the money I need to take flight training so I can worry more about school instead of worry about money issue.

Answer 1

My name is Chung-Chiang Kao, I am a senior at Ohio State University. I am majoring in Aviation Management and Operations Management though the Fisher College of Business. I have chosen this academic degree to help me achieve my short-term goal of becoming an Airport Manager. At the same time I am taking flight training at Ohio State University Flight School. I currently have approximately 70 hours of total flight time. I will keep taking flight training and hope to ultimately become a commercial airline pilot.



I am an active member of Alpha Eta Rho (co-ed aviation fraternity), we are always looking for opportunities to educate more people about the aviation industry. I took the board member position for the Aviation Spring Conference, trying to attract more people to aviation (I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU ARE TRYING TO SAY HERE). I also helped to found the OSU chapter of American Association of Airport Executives. I volunteer to conduct airport tours for younger kids at Ohio State University Airport, hopefully to inspire them to want to learn more about aviation.



Since I was a young man, whenever I see an airplane in the sky, I dream of the day I could be in control of these magnificent beasts. Before ariving in America from Taiwan, I did not have an opportunity to learn anything about aviation. Becomming a pilot is an almost impossible dream because of the lack of aviation/flight schools in the country. Since my arival in this wonderful country, I have discovered that anything is possible if you pursue your dream. I am currently living a small part of my dream flying civil aircraft. If my finances allow I would like to get my instrument rating, CPL and CFI. I have been taking more than 6 classes (20 credit hours) for the past 3 quarters, so I don’t have much time to work. However since I am an extremely hard working student, my GPA for the past 3 quarters is around 3.5.

My goal is to make the aviation environment better and safer. Aviation is a unique industry; airports and airlines are struggling to make a profit. (HOW ARE YOU GOING TO HELP THEM MAKE MONEY?) Also I want to let more people know about how great the aviation industry is and draw more people to help to make the industry better.



My parents have been paying my tuition, along with that of both my sisters. However recent problems have meant that I am now forced to pay my own living cost and for my flight training. Flight training is extremely expensive and a massive burden for a college student. As I said earlier I have been taking more than six classes for the past three quarters. I have undertaken this high workload in the hope I can graduate earlier and some tuition money. It would be of immesurable help if I could raise the money I need to continue flight training thus allowing me to concentrate more on my school work and less on money issue.



I hope after finishing reading this essay you’ll have a picture of who I am - a man with a dream and a desire to change the aviation industry for ever. Thank you for your time and your consideration.

Answer 2

My name is Chung-Chiang Kao, and I am a senior at Ohio State University. I major in Aviation Management and Operations Management at the Fisher College of Business. At same time, I take flight training at Ohio State University Flight School and I have about 70 hours of total flight time. I have chosen this academic degree to achieve my short-term goal of becoming an airport manager. I wil also continue to take flight training and hopefully become a commercial airlines pilot.



First, to show that I am passionate about aviation, I am an active member of Alpha Eta Rho (co-ed aviation fraternity). We always seek the opportunity to educate more people in the aviation industry. I took the board member position for the Aviation Spring Conference, trying to attract more people to interest in aviation. I also helped found the OSU chapter of American Association of Airport Executives. I volunteer to conduct airport tours for younger kids at Ohio State University Airport, hopefully to inspire them to learn more about aviation.

Since I was young, whenever there was an airplane in the sky, I would always look up and wish that I could fly one someday. As an immigrant from Taiwan, I did not have any opportunity to learn anything about aviation. Becoming a pilot was almost impossible to become because of the lack of aviation and flight school. When I moved to the United States, I discovered that anything is possible if you pursue your dream. I am living my dream right now from flying airplanes. If my budget will allow, I would like to get my instrument rating, CPL, and CFI. I have been taking more than 6 classes (20 credit hours) for the past 3 quarters, so I don’t have much time to work. But I am an extremely hard working student. That has resulted in making my GPA about 3.5 for the last 3 quarters.

My goal is to make the aviation environment better and safer. Aviation is a unique industry; airports and airlines are struggling to make profit and save money. I want to let more people know about how great aviation industry is and draw more attention. I hope that after you finish reading this essay, you’ll have a positive mental image of who I am.



My father is providing my tuition because my mother does not earn enough money. Due to family problems, my father can no longer pay for my tuition. As the result, my mother will need to provide tuition for both of my sisters and me. I need to start working to pay for my own living cost and flight training. Flight training is extremely expensive for a college student. I am taking so many classes so that I can graduate earlier. By graduating earlier, I can save some tuition money. It would be extremely helpful if I could have the money I needed to take flight training so that I could worry more about school instead of money issues. Thank you for your time and your consideration.

Answer 3

My name is Chung-Chiang Kao, I am a current senior student at Ohio State University. I major in Aviation Management and Operations Management though the Fisher College of Business. At same time, I am currently taking flight training at the Ohio State University Flight School with about 70 hours of total flight time. I have chosen this academic degree to achieve my short-term goals to become an airport manager. I plan to continue taking flight training and hopefully become a commercial airlines pilot as my ultimate career goal.

I am an active member of Alpha Eta Rho (co-ed aviation fraternity). We always seek the opportunity to educate more people about the aviation industry. I took the board member position for the Aviation Spring Conference, trying to attract more people to interest in aviation. I also helped to found the OSU chapter of American Association of Airport Executives. I volunteer to conduct airport tours for younger kids at Ohio State University Airport, to inspiring them to learn more about aviation and its benifits towards todays American society.

Since when I was young, whenever there was an airplane in the sky, I always looked up and wished that I could be up in the sky, flying that same plane. As an immigrant from Taiwan, I did not have any previous opportunities to learn anything about aviation.Becoming a pilot is almost impossible to become as of lack of schools specialising in avation and flights. Until I moved to the United States, I discovered that anything is possible if you pursuit your dream,and i guess thats the moral of the American dream. The best way to predict the future, is to invent it. Im inventing my future, and just as i imaginied as a little boy, ill be up in the sky, living my life in the cockpit.



If my future financial situation allows me to build my skills, I would like to get my instrument rating, CPL and CFI. I have been taking more than 6 classes (20 credit hours) for the past 3 quarters, so I don’t have much time to work. But since I am an extremely hard working student, my GPA for the past 3 quarters is average around 3.5.

My goal is to make the aviation environment better and safer. Aviation is a unique industry; airports and airlines are struggling to make profit, let alone making ends meet. I want to let more people know about how great aviation industry is and draw more people's attention to help to make this industry become better. I hope after finishing reading this , you’ll have a picture of who I am and picture the little boy i was, stairing up into that big blue crystal sky.



Thank you for your time and your consideration.



( question here... why do u conclude by under u have more writing?.. ill proof read it, but dont send it like this, add the text under into your body )



Previously my father was providing my tuition because my mother doesn’t earn enough money. Due to family problems, my father cannot pay for my tuition. As the result, my mother will need to provide tuition for me and both of my sisters. therefore I need to start working to pay for my own living cost and flight training. Flight training is extremely expensive for a college student. I have been taking more than 6 classes (20 credit hours) for the past 3 quarters, so I don’t have much time to work. I am taking so many classes in hope that I can graduate earlier to fufil my passion of aviation and help support my family. By graduating earlier, I can save some tuition money to build on my skills.