could you please review/edit my first resume?

Question

im 15 years old and looknig for a part time job in target or something. this is my first resume, can you proof read it and tell me if its okay? thankyou xo.

NAME:
ADDRESS:
MOBILE:
TELEPHONE:
EMAIL:


Overview: Year 10 high school student looking for part time employment to supplement studies and develop experience.


Education:
Box Hill High School
2008-present


Experience:
Pet sitter
April 2010
• Provided pet sitting services including feeding and walking
Managing a small business
October 2010
• Successfully managed a small business in school, selling confectionary items to students and teachers
SRC team member
February 2010-present
• Elected to represent the school and make essential decisions in order to benefit students, teachers and members of the school committee


Key Strengths
• Possess good communication skills
• Organised and responsible
• Strong reading proficiency
• Good computer skills


Awards
University of New South Wales English competition
• Certificate of credibility 2009
Small business school project
• Certificate of excellence in raising and donating $500 for the Red Cross Appeal

Answer 1

I put in caps the things I corrected.



Experience:

Pet sitter

April 2010

• Provided pet sitting services including feeding and walking

Managing a small business

October 2010

• Successfully managed a small business in school, selling CONFECTIONERY items to students and teachers

SRC team member

February 2010-present

• Elected to represent the school and make essential decisions in order to benefit students, teachers and members of the school committee





Key Strengths

• PossessES good communication skills

• Organised and responsible

• Strong reading proficiency

• Good computer skills (PUT YOUR WPM AND WHICH PROGRAMS YOU CAN USE SUCH AS MICROSOFT WORD AND EXCEL)





Awards

University of New South Wales English competition

• Certificate of credibility 2009

Small business school project

• Certificate of excellence in raising and donating $500 for the Red Cross Appeal

Answer 2

Place the bullets where the main sections of the resume are. List some details of each activity in one short sentence.







Experience:



*Pet sitter,( April 2010)



Provided pet sitting services for neighbors at (where? when? and how?Street name, city, state)



*Managing a small business, (October 2010)



Successfully managed a small business in school, selling confectionery items to students and teachers (This is OK)



*SRC team member, February 2010-present (Name of SRC)



Elected to represent the school and make essential decisions in order to benefit students, teachers and members of the school committee (This is OK)



*Key Strengths



Possesses good communication skills (Which skills and where?)



Organised and responsible (What did you organize and how did you take responsibility?)



Strong reading proficiency (What have you read?)



Good computer skills (Which skills programing, repair?)



*Awards



University of New South Wales English competition (Which competition?)



Certificate of credibility 2009 (What is the certificate for?)



Small business school project



Certificate of excellence in raising and donating $500 for the Red Cross Appeal (This is OK)



Good luck.

Answer 3

NAME:

ADDRESS:

MOBILE:

TELEPHONE:

EMAIL:



I would order it thus:



NAME:

ADDRESS

EMAIL

TELEPHONE

MOBILE:



Elected to represent the school and make essential decisions in order to benefit students, teachers and members of the school committee

Leave out 'and members of the school committee'



Possess good communication skills

You can leave out 'possess'



Certificate of credibility 2009

Really? Not "creditability"



Certificate of excellence in raising

'for raising' would be better

Answer 4

Be more specific about your computer skills - Mac/PC? Microsoft? etc

Answer 5

Very good. Under experience and strengths get rid of the capital letters as you have not made sentences.



. provided pet sitting...............................................

Answer 6

Looks and sounds good , I would hire you!

Answer 7

i think it looks pretty good.^^