can someone edit my essay?

Question

Power has proven to be an overwhelming theme throughout many novels. In particular this year we have read many books about characters who abuse their power.The destructors by Graham Greene uses the theme of abused power substantially through his characters and plot. The story by Greene compares through this theme to the books we have read this year. All of the books show a similarity of the corrupting nature of power.
In their eyes were watching god Jody began as a promising man in Janie eye. That was until he was declared mayor of Eatonville and had a sudden surge of power to him. He used his power to manipulate Janie with his power constantly he made her believe that he freed her from her ex husband Logan. Trevor is trying to make a name for himself in the gang. By him taking charge he wants to ensure that he is going to remain in power and to ensure his spot in the gang." Blackie realized he had raised his hand like any other ordinary member of the gang" Trevor has removed Blackie from his duties as leader and has made him aware that he is not necessary anymore
In one flew over the cuckoo’s nest by Ken Kesey, nurse ratchet has made an obvious point that she is in charge. She constantly emasculates the men on the ward just to maintain her point of power. When her power is threatened by anyone she takes drastic and corrupt measures to regain it, such as electroshock therapy, sending patients to disturb, and giving them lobotomies. In the destructors Trevor is the newest recruit for wormsley the common gang. He immediately takes charge and develops the plan to destroy the last house standing after the tragic blitzing. "it was as though this plan had been with him all his life, pondered through the seasons now in his fifteenth year crystallized with the pain of puberty"(5) Trevor used his power as the new leader to take his own anger out on the town for which he feels the need to take revenge on. Blackie the original leader realizes Trevor's immense anger and distance himself from the group because he sees how it has change since Trevor took charge. Where they used to be happy they are now under strict order.
The last book in relation to corrupting nature of power is Macbeth by Shakespeare. Trevor wanted nothing but revenge on old misery, the revenge was considered his dream. He had gained power over the gang and likewise did Macbeth gain power. Macbeth devised a plan to kill the king and later to kill Banquo to ensure his spot as king. He had no words as his dreams shook and slid.”Both Trevor and Macbeth had to do things to keep their power over everyone; both had to keep their power to keep their dreams.

Answer 1

I won't edit it, as editing constitutes making substantial changes to the content of your work. However, I'll be glad to point out a couple of editorial issues.



1. The word "power" appears at least ten times (probably more like fifteen).

2. There are some typos and punctuation errors.

3. I don't see a conclusion paragraph.

4. You mention Graham Greene in your intro but then he disappears.

5. I don't see a lot of direct quotes (or page numbers). Teachers like that kind of stuff.



There ARE some good ideas here.

Answer 2

Power has proven to be an overwhelming theme throughout many novels; in particular, this year we have read many books about characters who abuse their power. “The Destructors”, by Graham Greene uses the theme of abused power substantially through his characters and plot. The short story by Greene compares to the books we have read this year through this theme. All of the books show a similarity of the corrupting nature of power.

In Their Eyes Were Watching God, Jody began as a promising man in Janie’s eyes, that was until he was declared mayor of Eatonville and had a sudden surge of power to him. Jody used his power to manipulate Janie and he constantly made her believe that he had freed her from her ex-husband, Logan. In comparison to “The Destructors“, Trevor is trying to make a name for himself in the gang; by Trevor taking charge he wants to ensure that he is going to remain in power and to secure his spot in the gang. "Blackie realized he had raised his hand like any other ordinary member of the gang," at this point Trevor had removed Blackie from his duties as leader and had made him aware that he was not necessary anymore.

In One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest, by Ken Kesey, Nurse Ratchet has made an obvious point that she is in charge; she constantly emasculates the men on the ward just to maintain her point of power. When Ratchet’s power is threatened by anyone, she takes drastic and corrupt measures to regain it, such as electroshock therapy, sending patients to disturb, and giving them lobotomies. In “The Destructors”, Trevor is the newest recruit for the Wormsley Common Gang. He immediately takes charge and develops the plan to destroy the last house standing after the tragic blitzing. "It was as though this plan had been with him all his life, pondered through the seasons now in his fifteenth year crystallized with the pain of puberty"(5) Trevor used his power as the new leader to take his own anger out on the town for which Trevor felt the need to take revenge on. Blackie, the original leader, realizes Trevor's immense anger and distances himself from the group, he sees how it has changed since Trevor took charge; where they used to be happy they were now under strict order.

The last book in relation to corrupting nature of power is Macbeth, by Shakespeare. Trevor wanted nothing but revenge on Old Misery, the revenge was considered Trevor’s dream. He had gained power over the gang and likewise did Macbeth gain power over Cawdor. Macbeth devised a plan to kill King Duncan and later to kill Banquo, to ensure his spot as king; Macbeth had no words as his dreams shook and slid. Both Trevor and Macbeth had to do things to keep their power over everyone; both had to keep their power to keep their dreams.







***You may need to add a more powerful opening statement and also a conclusion, tying all of the books together and maybe even ending with your opening statement, but reworded. Underline the novels, but "The Destructors" is a short story which causes a need for parentheses Also, some of your periods may need to be double spaced, I changed the ones I stumbled upon, but can make no promises that I changed all of them.****

Answer 3

You are right in seeking help to edit your essay. You have good ideas, but the essay is poorly written. Work with your teacher or a fellow student or a friend or a relative. Best of luck to you.