Question:
Please Proofread my paper. Romeo and Juliet?
anonymous
2008-04-28 20:43:27 UTC
The Tangled Web of Romeo and Juliet

Sir Walter Scott once said, “Oh what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive” This quote means that when you choose to be deceptive you are going in a downward spiral towards disaster. Romeo and Juliet were deceptive to others from the beginning and this led to a domino effect of many other deceptions and consequences. The first deception was when Romeo disguised himself and went to a Capulet party. From there, Romeo and Juliet deceived their families when they married without their consent. Lastly, in a tragic ending, Juliet deceives her family and Romeo when she drinks a potion to appear dead. In the drama Romeo and Juliet by William Shakespeare, deception leads to natural and tragic consequences.
The first deception of the play when Romeo disguises himself and crashes the party, although seemingly harmless, was the start of a very tangled web. At the beginning of the party Tybalt sees Romeo and wants to fight him, however, Lord Capulet stops him. Tybalt agrees but says, “I will withdraw. But this intrusion shall, now seeming sweet, convert to bitterest gall,” (I.v. 90-91.). The statement that Tybalt makes becomes true when he tries to fight Romeo in Act III. Romeo refused saying, “Therefore, farewell. I see thou knowest me not,” (III.i.57). Mercutio fought Tybalt instead and the fight led to the death of both Mercutio by Tybalt and Tybalt by Romeo. The Prince punished Romeo by banishing him. Therefore, although crashing the party seemed harmless, this deception led to the death of Tybalt and Mercutio and the banishment of Romeo.
Another deception in the play is when Romeo and Juliet deceive their parents and marry without their families’ consent. A natural consequence that arose from this deception is when Juliet is forced to marry Paris towards the end of the play. Her parents had no knowledge of her marriage to Romeo and Juliet still chose to deceive them when they confronted her about her future marriage to Paris. Juliet says she has no desire to be married and, using double entendre, she says, “It shall be Romeo, whom you know I hate, rather than Paris,” (V.iii.122-123). She sounds as if she does not desire to be married so much that she would rather marry Romeo, her family enemy, when she means that she already is married to him. This deception led to her frantic confrontation with Friar Laurence in which she begs him to give her the sleeping potion. She begs saying, “Give me, give me! O, tell not me of fear!” (IV.i.121). Friar Laurence gives her the vial and helps her with her next deception.
Juliet’s last deception was when she deceived her family and Romeo into thinking had died. The Nurse finds Juliet seemingly dead body and goes into a horrified frenzy and tells Lady Capulet that “Alack the day, she’s dead,” (IV.v.24). Her family believes she is dead and buries her in the family tomb. Meanwhile, Romeo receives word that Juliet has died and has not heard from Friar Laurence that it was only a scheme. Romeo goes to the Capulet tomb and there he and Paris duel. The duel leads to the death of Paris and afterwards Romeo lays him near to Juliet. Romeo finds Juliet’s body and poisons himself saying, “Here’s to my love…Thus with a kiss I die. (V.iii.119-120)” Juliet awakens not long after and finds Romeo’s lifeless body. She commits suicide, after seeing the poisin, saying, “…I’ll be brief! O happy dagger...let me die,” (V.iii.169-170). This deception of Juliet led to the tragic death of Paris, Romeo and herself.
Overall, the deceptions of Romeo and Juliet led to tragic consequences including many deaths. Their deceptions to their families, their friends, and each other led to natural consequences that otherwise could have been avoided. I think that in our world today people still weave tangled webs; however, if people told the full truth and were honest I believe that we could achieve so much more and avoid consequences such as death. We should all learn from Romeo and Juliet’s mistakes and come out front with the truth before it is too late. In Romeo and Juliet, the two lovers’ deceptions led to many consequences that could easily have been avoided if they only told the truth. Romeo and Juliet weaved themselves a very tangled web from their deceptions that, in the end, lead to their devastating death.
Three answers:
dnldslk
2008-04-28 20:59:09 UTC
I don't buy your thesis. The implication is that deception is what causes the pair to tragically die.

It is the family rivalry that forces the pair to engage in these deceptions. Deceptions are an attempt to thwart a pre-existing tragic background.

You say in your summary, "if people told the full truth...."

But in R and J's world, truth is death. It is deception that allows the pair to even think about a relationship.

Still, your essay has many fine points. I like the way you start off with a quote, then essentially find points to illustrate the quote. Your essay proceeds along logical lines. And I do believe your approach is your own and you have not cribbed it.

I could provide some technical tips. For instance:

"What Scott meant was that when a person chooses...."

"The first deception occured at the Capullet party. Romeo...."

(Don't use when--you're not talking about a time.)

From there--omit. Say somethng like: Later....

Lastly--not a word. Don't put ly on last.

I also don't think I'd summarize all the deceptions in the first paragraph. To do so seems repetitious. I'd devote the first para to a general statement abt deceptions, then devote subsequent paras to each deception.

I suspect your trying to fill out a quota of words.

Good luck. Not bad, actually.
anonymous
2008-04-28 20:48:08 UTC
I only read the beginning but you seem to be too obvious about things. It's like "place quote here" this quote means. First, blah blha blah. This proves blah blah blah. Then,... etc.



Just flow with it and make the the reader say oh the writer said this so it HAS TO PROVE this. It's like don't tell what it proves, show what it proves. Show, don't tell.
girl_
2008-04-28 20:55:32 UTC
wenever some one sez somthing u had to skip a line like this

she ran away

"come back "he screamed

but it its the same person say something comtinue on the same line .if its some one else skip another line







(e.g) She ran away hurridly

"Come back" he yelled " i can help you" he criedd

"No, stop following me" she sedd









like thatt hope i helpedd


This content was originally posted on Y! Answers, a Q&A website that shut down in 2021.
Loading...