Please double check for errors?

Question

Can you please check for errors, and maybe help me improve it thx!

Good Morning to you all.
Today, I am presenting my ideas, and debating whether our school's rule of hair, is no more for our school's presentation, or another restriction upon our students at Kolej Tuanku Jaafar.
Firstly, Students express themselves through their hair, by disallowing them to do it, this will limit their expressions causing them to feel inexpressible.
When students feel that they look good, this will help to boost their self-confidence.
School life, is just isn’t about books, its about having fun and being adventurous, to try out various things.
Student will not feel that their life is being controlled by someone and there’s a sense of freedom, causing the student to have less chances of rebellion
Student will not feel that their life is being controlled by someone.
Students will feel much comfortable as they can have their desire hairstyle.
Students will feel awkward in hair of not their choice.
I would like to think that my ideas presented today, will help you think about our rules more sufficiently. Thank you for listening.

Answer 1

Here's my suggestion (I have edited for punctuation, grammar and readability):





Good morning to you all.

Today I am presenting my ideas regarding our school's rules for hair styles. Are they simply for our school's presentation, or just another restriction upon the students at Kolej Tuanku Jaafar?

Students express themselves through their hair styles. Preventing them from doing so will limit their expressiveness causing them to feel unable to express themselves adequately.

When students feel that they look good, it helps to boost their self-confidence.

School life is just isn’t about academics. It is about having fun and being adventurous - trying out various things.

Being able to choose their hair style will permit the students to feel that their life is not being controlled by someone else and gives them a sense of freedom, causing the students to be less likely to rebel.

Students will feel much comfortable if they are allowed to wear their desired hairstyle.

Students will feel awkward if their hair style has to conform to a particular standard.

I believe that the ideas presented today will give you a new perspective on the rules regarding hair styles at our school. Thank you for your time.

Answer 2

Something you may want to think about is that students are going to rebel regardless. It is better for them to focus that rebellion in a less destructive way by being able to express themselves through their hair styles, versus a destructive method to demonstrate their rebellion such as drugs and alcohol. Hair styles are harmless.

Answer 3

i suggest you change the word 'inexpressible', because it diminishes your vocabulary, by adapting the same word 'expressions'.



use thesaurus.com to find better vocabulary (as referenced)

also, inexpressible usually means something that cannot be said in words.

e.g. "Shelly's behaviour was so bad, it is inexpressible."



Better way to put it would be to say that they feel "indifferent and detached"



also, "Students will feel much comfortable as they can have their desire hairstyle."

does not really make sense.

did u mean "desired" hairstyle?

Answer 4

Everything is compatible. The GC only requires a 400w PSU, so the 500w PSU will be more than enough.