I need help revising my thesis for "General George Patton's speech to the third army"?

Question

This is what i have so far but it's pretty bad in my opinion. I want to make it clear and a good thesis.

General George S. Patton wants to make his army strong, and ready to fight, which leaves them feeling guilty, to make them more engaged, and to make them feel less scared to fight.

It's horrible I know. I have no idea how to word it so it sounds good. Please help! Thank you!:)

Answer 1

Stop mixing tenses. Just at a first skim, it's half present tense and half future tense. That's awkward alone right there!



Second, it doesn't mention anything about his speech. Considering that's what the whole paper is about, it should probably mention that somehow.



Lastly, it might not be bad to throw in some imagery. Set the scene for the reader to grab them. I have no idea how he gave the speech historically, but something like this: "General George S. Patton, his five stars gleaming in the afternoon daylight, stepped confidently up on the fender of the Sherman tank, dirty with the mud of a cross-continental drive deep into the heart of Europe. Hoping to improve the sagging morale of his troops, he gave a rousing speech:" -[excerpts] etc.

Answer 2

Patton became into/is an thrilling study. Very clever. Many hobbies. enjoyed by ability of his troops yet not by ability of superiors lots. Bucked custom and did issues his way and made it to everyday.

Answer 3

the idea of the speech was to instill confidence in each and every one as to their ability to be the best fighting machine the world has ever seen.

rent the movie, you'll see where and how it was givin.

Answer 4

"Men the object in war is not to die for your country .It is to make the other poor dumb bastard die for his" Gen George S Patton